My Day

"These are days never to be forgotten." - Elaine S. Dalton

Yesterday, I had the privilege of going to Utah with a group of young women from my ward. The first thing we did when we arrived was to go shopping at the brand new City Creek Mall in Salt Lake. Wow. This place was huge! I have never been in a mall so expansive, nor been in a place so filled with people. Seriously, yesterday put a filled football stadium to shame. (I didn't take this picture. If I had, it would show all those people!) I had so much fun talking, looking for and trying on clothes, and sight-seeing with my friends. Not to mention, the weather was perfect.
 

This is the Salt Lake Temple. What a beautiful work of architecture. To me, this temple is a castle, both in appearance and in purpose. It represents the most wonderful and beautiful parts of the Gospel, and it protects these things within its strong walls. This picture shows the temple almost exactly as I saw it yesterday while walking out of the Conference Center. Though I haven't decided yet, this temple is certainly on my list of potential temples to be married in. 

These are the lovely young ladies who sang at the General Young Women's Conference I mentioned earlier. I got to see and hear them in person! All their songs were beautiful, but "I Feel My Savior's Love" moved me most. Music is a powerful medium for truth and expression. Never underestimate it. 

Here's the Young Women's General Presidency. They are so loving, strong, and encouraging. Each of their talks provided some insight into my life, helping me find strength and ways of improvement. I think I enjoyed  the talks of Sister Elaine S. Dalton and Sister Mary N. Cook most. Because of these amazing women, I cannot wait to take on each new day, eagerly absorbing my education, enjoying what life has offered me, and building my future. 

When you look at this picture, it's hard not to smile, isn't it? This is President Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of the Church. He spoke yesterday as well, and I could feel the love and truth in the words he spoke. How fortunate we are to have a living prophet of God in our midst! This great man is the mouthpiece of God, and it was wonderful to hear him last night. His talk consisted of fitting counsel and guidance about where we're headed in our lives, and what we can to to become that righteous person we've always wanted to be. When he said that last part, my listening intensified. President Monson continued to show how each of us can spend "a lifetime close to the Lord", by seeking heavenly guidance one day at a time. For by doing this, we cannot become lost or dissuaded. Instead, our testimonies, confidence, and Christ-like attributes will grow. The future will not be something to fear, but something to look forward to. I love President Monson. I know he is our prophet today, and I cannot wait to hear him speak for General Conference this weekend. 

I probably saw many of these girls yesterday during my various activities. The cool thing, though, is that the majority of young women in Salt Lake City yesterday came for this conference. They came to hear the servants of the Lord, and to be knit closer to one another through righteous activity. A day like yesterday can never be forgotten. That day made us stronger, happier, and more ready to take on the world. I loved this little trip to Utah. 

Don't Know Why I Didn't Come

Ah yes. The post where I have no idea what I'm doing.

Normally, I am a thoroughly planned young lady when it comes to writing. Especially when other people will be reading it. Today? Nope. I just felt like writing.

Let me begin by throwing a word out there:

REGRETS

What an ugly, bad-tasting word. Unfortunately, there seem to be many of these in my life: Why didn't I say hi to her? What on earth possessed me to eat that? How come I didn't answer that question I knew? Why did I let myself act like that? Why did I do that again? The list could go on. Everyone, at one time or another, has regretted something.

Now, I could spend oodles of time writing about my regrets, how they made me ache, and so on. But, nobody wants to hear that stuff. No one wants to read sob-stories about my failed expectations. People crave hope, forgiveness, progression, and most of all, happy endings. I want to provide all that in this post.

My dad, probably my biggest hero, told me this one day:

"Live without regrets. Live in such a way that you are content with your actions."

Though this may not be word-for-word, the principle still stands. If I forgive myself, leave the past behind, and strive for improvement, I'll enjoy life much, much more. But, it sounds hard, doesn't it? People make mistakes all the time, every day. However, one can decide to rise above these small hindrances, and work to become the kind of person he or she desires to be. From my humble experience, there are a few methods to help with this:

• Forgive yourself, but learn the lessons
• Set specific, attainable goals
• Remember what you truly want
• and do what makes you happy

I'm going to implement these in my life, because regrets are not something I want to have around. Also, I figure life becomes sweeter without the weight of guilt and disappointment. There's more time and thought for the greater things in life, like having fun, learning, and taking that next big step in something. After all, "men are that they might have joy." - 2 Nephi 2:25

Thanks

It's one of those days when I need to remember my blessings.

Here are a few that I've been thinking about recently:

• my family

• my grades

• that I have time to write my discussion paper

• that I'm able to exercise every day

• good books

• that the week is more than halfway over

• food (well why not?)

• that I get to spend time with relatives this weekend

• my testimony

Now I feel much better.  :)

Pants, Junk Food, and the Worth of Souls

Running at four in the morning isn't most people's cup of tea.

But it is mine.

Lately, my blog posts haven't really been about ME. I suppose that's a good thing, but I feel like I've used my musings and ideas to hide from what's really been on my mind. I will warn you though, this is a bit impromptu, so it may not be the most cohesive post I've ever written...

One could say all of this started with a pair of pants. And running.

Back in early February, I still had all that lovely holiday baggage, and I'm not talking about the good feelings or decorations. It was the junk food-eating mentality. I didn't really care about what I was eating, and besides, I had other things to worry about, like Calculus, papers, and reading. But, nobody feels good when they eat too much of the wrong thing and it shows. Please know, I am not a big person by any means; I am actually pretty petite. However, I felt like a sumo wrestler because of my lifestyle. It embarrassed me, and so I avoided wearing the cute clothes I loved. I found myself staring longingly at the cute pairs of pants I saw on other girls, and wishing I could look that good in such jeans. So, I decided that I would look good in some new jeans.

A couple years ago, I went on a no-sugar bet. For two and a half months, I abstained from snacks and junk foods with sugar in them. By working out and eating right, I was in the best shape! Last month, as I was deciding how to get rid of the holiday baggage, I thought I'd try this route again, along with some good exercise. All the other ways I'd tried previously had failed, so I figured I should have a definite, sure-fire plan.

Before I go into that plan, I'm sure this sounds very superficial. Like I only cared about how I looked or something. That isn't true. Throughout this time, I went through some self-worth issues. There was a friend of mine who I really admired. She seemed to have everything I wanted, from the way she looked to the way she expressed herself. I thought that because she embodied what I wanted, what was left for me to be? Super ridiculous, I know, but I seriously felt like I didn't have an identity. Where was my voice? Who and what was I?

Some part of me hungered to find what I was worth. What kind of person could I be, how could I show my uniqueness, if I had any? What did I believe?

Back to my plan. One of my Young Women's leaders invited me to go exercising with her up at the college. At four in the morning. I said, heck yes! We decided we would go every Tuesday and Thursday. This combined with my sugar-bet looked very promising for me.

Thus began the running. The majority of my workout consists of running hard for a couple of miles. Call me crazy, but I love it. Running has always been an escape and a joy for me. I won't lie, it can be hard, but it's a good kind of hard. I always felt better about myself after working out for that hour in the mornings. But, though I was closer than before, I still had a while to go until I met my goal. It's difficult to see how your own seemingly great progress compares to where others are. Plus, my classes in school were taking their toll on me and I continued to view myself as less than important.

Time passed and I came closer and closer to my goal. Unfortunately, my self-esteem remained dismal. Because of this oh-so fantastic mixture, along with school work, I was affected spiritually also. It was one of those times where my head felt so heavy I couldn't look up. I worked at doing everything I was supposed to, and still I didn't feel adequate. These feelings weren't the kind one really shares with friends or family, so I had only one possible option:

Go vertical. 

Praying, fasting, and working on being more serving, kind, and thoughtful of others was the spiritual part of my fitness plan. I knew I couldn't handle every aspect of my life on my own. Only Heavenly Father could help me with some of the things I struggled with. The road was not easy. Faith is a muscle as well as a gift, so it's painful to exercise until it becomes natural.

Slowly, but ever so surely, things were looking up. Because of my prayers and efforts with taking care of myself, I was getting some serious results, both in body and spirit. Still, the sugar-bet made life difficult. No doubt, I could handle not having treats; I'd done this before, but it was the whole idea of avoiding true self- discipline. Much like how the Savior had temptations but didn't give into them, I needed to be tested. Life and health aren't about taking the easy road and completely avoiding things. I needed to solve my problems, via portioning and keeping those jeans in mind. So, I cut the bet. I am strong enough to live with temptation!

You're probably still wondering, what about her self-worth? Did she ever find her identity?

I'm getting to that.

Throughout this period of self-doubt, fear, and searching, the Lord helped me learn something: I have my own kind of worth, I have my own story to tell. My thoughts, choices, perceptions, actions, style, and talents (yes Lauren, you do have those) make up who I am. No matter what I try to be, I will always be myself.

I'm okay with that.

There are things in this life that only I can do, and things that only I can give or share with others. It's nice to know that my life is made for me, not that friend whom I admire so much, not that woman on the magazine, just me. And other people are okay with that too. During this time, I've had so many people tell me such kind, uplifting things they've thought or liked about me. Nothing helps self-esteem like a good, heartfelt compliment. Also, those words remind me that my deeds and I have value. If I feel valued, why would I aspire to be anything other than myself? Of course, I want to improve who I am, but there's no need to turn into somebody else.

So now, whenever I get on that treadmill, I think of this stuff. I remember what I went through, and feel powerful. My goal is in sight, and every step I take brings me closer.