In Retrospect

A beginning at the end.

December 28th:
We picked up my returned missionary brother from the airport
We opened presents about 7:30 PM
Stayed up until 2 AM with my brothers, talking, listening to new music

Suddenly, my long-lost brother is back. I see him every day, and I love it. Sometimes, though, my mind plays games with me: The past two years have been a dream, haven't they? My family's all together again; I'm sharing a bathroom with my brothers; every little quirk my family ever possessed has become magnified in these past few days.

But no. No matter how similar now and then are, we have changed. I am no longer the fearful, starry-eyed girl who held life at arm's length. These years have taught me about perseverance--to stick with my goals, and if I do, I'll reach them. About love--there are many more types and kinds than I realized--and how I must never take it for granted. About true, Christ-like kindness--this life is not merely for me and my hopes, but to help others reach theirs. About knowledge--there is so much not only to learn, but to experience, feel, and explore in this life; why should I waste it? Knowledge encompasses a greater sphere than simple book-smarts and cleverness. It's about the experiences we have and what we glean from them. In other words: it's wisdom. I am working on becoming wise.

It excites me that How To Save A Life has been around for an entire year. Looking back over my old posts, I can remember each of those feelings, sharp as a pin prick. Lessons learned, ardent achings articulated--blogging is a whole different vehicle for expression, and for a while, I did not think I could do it. Surely, other people carry more fascinating tales and more inspiring messages than I do. Yet, I know that something I have to say can help someone, somewhere. Who knows? Maybe I already have. I'd like to think so.

There's a lot more to discover out there, and I plan to find it. I want to improve, turn my flaws to fine points, and become the person I've always wanted to be.

So here's to another year--another chance to thrive!