Friday, December 13, 2013

Emphasis

It is an undeniable truth that music has a profound affect on me. So often, whether in hymns at church or the tunes on my iPod, I can find a song that expresses precisely what I am feeling or thinking. There are times when I've wondered whether I should have stuck it out with the piano or the clarinet, but I think I get so much more out of music simply by listening and feeling.

For instance, while listening to some new music lately, I found two songs that convey two very important things I've learned during this first semester of college.

1) Pompeii by Bastille

My last post (One of Those Nights) actually documented the night before perhaps the most pivotal point of this semester. Without going into too much detail, I was arrogant, thoughtless, and selfish. I am still dealing with the consequences.

I was left to my own devices
Many days fell away with nothing to show
...
We were caught up and lost in all of our vices
...
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Great clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above

When that awful consequence did come, I was undone. But I was left with a choice to make.

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
...
Oh where do we begin,
The rubble or our sins?

Yes, it hurt. Yes, I have been deeply humbled. I am thankful Heavenly Father did not cushion the blow, because it helped me see how wrong I'd been. Ultimately, I chose to pick up the pieces and start again.

2) Emphasis by Sleeping At Last

In the space between then and now, my resolve and testimony have been tested--threatened to break, at times. I had never felt such stark loneliness before. Still, there are things I know that I could never abandon. Christ knows me, and He has never left my side.

The sweetest thing I've ever learned is that I don't have all the answers
Just a little light to call my own
Though it pales in comparison to the overarching shadows
A speck of light can reignite the sun and swallow the darkness whole 

Slowly, I have relearned that the Lord's ways are higher than my ways. I can't see the bigger picture--only He can--so I must trust Him. Whenever that suffocating fear grips me, I instantly turn to Him. And I know that all will be well, even if it isn't right now.

Life is a gorgeous, broken gift



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